Residue
Residual feelings are nuisances. It's like, you know someone isn't right for you - you just don't click- and you let them know that as much as you adore them, that's the way you feel. That person understands how you feel, and the issue of certain declarations made is resolved. It's done. Right?
Wrong. I can't stop thinking, "What if we just got together? It's not like marriage. But that isn't fair considering that I have genuine warm-and-fuzzies for others. But how much does that matter?" I don't know the answers, but I do know that my mind is severely preoccupied with what-if's and residual feelings for a person who's crushee I am. Why am I so fucking difficult and complicated!?! Why do I always want the flirty and funny idiots and potheads who are all wrong for me, and just never feel it for the perfectly good ones? That's a serious query. I don't know how many people have assessed me and wondered that; and now I do to.
So, besides my query, here's what's up...
Tomorrow I'm going to my Auto Shop teacher's 60th birthday. It should be pretty good. I just didn't know what to get him, so he gets pictures from Junior Prom and one or two birthday cards. I'll get to hang out with some of the old Auto Shop gang, which rocks (not enough to get my cotton socks off, though). Next on the agenda is my accidentally stolen All-American Rejects CD. As bad as it is, I miss it. My buddy, George, accidently stole it (because he never would purposely) - like a month ago. Furthermore, Summer School is a bad, bad place. Don't ever go there unless you're one of those cool teachers who can get through a class without taking crap from anyone and knows what the hell they're doing. 'Cause if you're one of those, it's some easy summer money. Yeah, well, I'm done. I'm out party people. The end, seriously. Are you still here? Whatevah.
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+ posted by Stephanie @ 11:46 PM
As, a woman there are certain times when someone calls you a bitch and the person that does so, does so without provocation, and the person that does so is not a close friend kidding with you, but some random acquaintence whom you may have not even had a cnversation with. This causes a feeling of extreme...violation; and there really isn't a thing that can be done to reverse it. At best, revenge can be sought, but beside, there is nothing. You can call him a dick, a n asshole, or something quite terribly vulgar and insulting; but there really is no equivalent vulgar denouncement to be used against male as "bitch" is to female. I just got called "BITCH" by my friend's slightly younger brother as a response to me saying "hi" to who I thought was my friend on AIM. That
+ posted by Stephanie @ 3:27 PM
Hi! Summer School blows! The administration sucks! Don't get the wrong impression... Well, anyway, yay to me! I successfully let down a prospective suitor who had unrequited affections for me, without incurring heartache or discouragemnt! I feel down right relieved. It isn't that I actuallyincur these things, mind you. They just always seem to come with the territory; but this time they didn't. Goody!
+ posted by Stephanie @ 10:18 PM
Oh my god. So, i'm a little over a week out of school, and already, I can't wait for summer to end! Grrr! Firstly, I don't even want to go to summer school at all. Originally, I'd been amiable to it because a bunch of my friends and acquaintences are there; at El Dorado that is. But do I get to go there? No-oo! I have to drive all the way out to the boonies in Pleasant Hill, where I know one person - the attendence secretary. *stabs self with something pointy* It is soooo fucked up! Last year, I was teaching my summer school english class. In fact that has happened everytime I've done summer school. There hasn't been one year of summerschool where I didn't end up teaching a class.
+ posted by Stephanie @ 9:54 AM